Saturday, 7 June 2014

Turnabout's fair play

I am in the library, and I am feeling very lonely indeed. There's almost nobody else in here, though I'm pretty certain that if I open up my Thermos full of soup a librarian will swoop out of nowhere or manifest out of bats or electrify my laptop.

I am suspicious of the powers of librarians.

So why am I in the library? Simply because my dissertation must be written, and it will not be written while I sit at home and play Civilisation IV or film applications or write blogs. No, instead I must go forth and read all sorts of books about government, the future, and possibly even read some of the manifesto of the Front National, after which I'll need a shower.

I had another run this morning with a slightly faster time. This is a bit silly, because I should really be trying to slow my pace and go further rather than running straight at it as fast as I can before I collapse, but then that's how I've lived my entire life up until this point. It's a hard habit to shake, and it's really only just struck me how it keeps popping up in a lot of aspects of my life.

Running away at top speed only to get back to where I started. This may be a sign.

As a side note, 87 calories is not very many calories at all, and I am quite frankly horrified that this is all I get for the feeling of lightheaded proximity to death I experienced. I should be able to eat more than a handful of grapes for that sort of sensation.

As time off for good behaviour (in terms of my dissertation) I'll be writing an article for everyone's favourite tabloid, +The Tab, about things you can't wear after uni. So far I'm thinking onesies, ironic t-shirts and yesterday's clothes (that, let's be honest, were yesterday's clothes yesterday). If you've got suggestions, leave them in the comments or get in touch with me via my social media profiles.

I start my new job on Wednesday, which is pretty damn exciting, because quite frankly I'm running out of money like Prince Charles is running out of time - quickly. Still, unlike Charlie, I've got an end in a sight. Speaking of royalty, by the by, the Queen has made her speech to parliament and good lord it's a dirge. "My government government that...". One needs to vary one's language in order to convince, persuade, entertain, or even hold the attention of one's audience - but then I suppose Lizzie's pretty much extraneous at this point, and it's an awful lot of bother just to tell a load of people what they already know. Still, we do like our pomp and circumstance. After all, why else would we have a new state coach when there are 3.5m kids in poverty?

I'm going to call it a day there, because that question's a difficult one to follow with anything cheery. There'll be macaroni cheese for dinner tonight, because lactose free cheese and lactose free milk exist.

There might be a god after all.